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by Clarissa Zhu

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How to Stop Feeling Like Shit | Feel Good During 2020

August 4, 2020

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Hello everyone! I recently read the book ‘How to Stop Feeling Like Shit’ by Andrea Owen (free to read with Amazon Prime wink wink) and I wanted to share a few of my main takeaways. ‘How to Stop Feeling Like Shit’ is the perfect book on self-improvement that does NOT hold back and is real and authentic and is a great, engaging and easy read. I really recommend this book if self-development is something you’re interested in (trick question – It absolutely should!).

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I attended my friend’s baby shower in early July and I had a really lovely time. As you know the COVID-19 pandemic is restricting how many people we can have in our household so it was so nice to see all my friends again and celebrate my friend’s future baby girl on the way (I’m going to be an aunt guys!).

I can safely say I don’t have baby fever (yet) but it’s hard to not compare myself to others and notice how mature and put together others are becoming. Whilst, I am nothing but happy for their successes whether it’s a baby, getting married or buying a new home, I often look at myself and think why aren’t I doing that. Why am I sitting on my laptop in my sweats and eating a can of tuna, being very, very single (future cat lady in the making?), when people are really killing it in their lives.

‘How to Stop Feeling Like Shit’ definitely was a book that appealed to my situation and here are a very of my favourite takeaways that I wanted to share.

Stop Being an Asshole to Yourself

Be kind to yourself

Notice the way you speak to yourself. If you speak yourself with harsh criticism, you’re going to feel like shit. Treat yourself with kindness and respect and happiness, confidence and high self-esteem will follow.

The book made a very interesting and valuable point that we live in a society and culture that profits from women not feeling good enough. We aren’t beautiful enough or thin enough or anything enough. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!!

Currently, I often feel like I’m not thin or attractive enough and this COVID-19 pandemic has certainly not helped and I’ve packed on a few pounds. BUT (Yes, this is a very strong but), I am learning to be kind and compassionate to myself. Whilst I am not avoiding the conversations I am having to myself, to my personal trainer, about my weight gain and fitness, I am treating myself and my body with the kindness it deserves.

The best way to lose weight is to be kind to yourself and LOVE who you are. Self-acceptance and healthier living is the key to sustainable weight loss. Being harsh and extremely critical of yourself (e.g. crash dieting and deprivation) will only set you up to fail.

Read my post about the importance of body positivity and acceptance

Feel Pride in What You Have Achieved – Don’t Hide Away From Your Vulnerabilities

Like I mentioned, I often compare myself to other people and yes, sometimes it does make me feel like shit. This is particularly true when it comes to dating/relationships because I am lacking in that department.

Don’t hide away from it all and allow people to see the real you no matter how afraid you feel. Vulnerability is very scary. Whilst it seems weak, vulnerability is actually very brave. It is allowing others to connect with you on a more personal level and you never know if you become an inspiring role model to others.

That’s kind of the reason I’m not a huge fan of Instagram from time to time because social media is a mask where you can project the best version or ideal version of yourself. Most of the time that isn’t real and but it can be really impressionable and damaging, especially if you have a large following. My point is that people DO have real-life struggles (relationships, money, career) but they just try to hide it.

My point is to NOT hide from these struggles and insecurities. Self-development is not an easy path to success and there are many bumps on the road and that is totally okay. Flaunt it.

Take pride in what you have accomplished. I am forever grateful of the experiences and achievements I have made in life.

Reflect on what you’ve been able to do and I PROMISE you that you can look back and feel really proud on what you’ve done. Don’t feel inadequate and shit just because some vapid influencer is flaunting her new Mercedes and Gucci handbag and eating at some expensive restaurant. I know personally, I get lowkey jealous too. It can be hard but be proud of you!

You are so special! Here is something for you:

There is an interesting article where a woman got into more than $10, 000 in debt to flaunt her lifestyle on Instagram so don’t believe that everyone is living picture-perfect lives.

Don’t Let Anything Define You – The Sky is the Limit

Whilst I mentioned that we should all be proud of what we achieve, we should also not let those achievements define us and determine our self-worth.

I feel like this is something my mum would say about how important our physical and emotional health is because without that we’re nothing.

One valuable takeaway I got from ‘How to Stop Feeling like Shit’ is that we need to start learning to engage less with overachieving and comparing ourselves with others.

We need to value ourselves and see how awesome we are. I’ve definitely taken this coronavirus pandemic to re-evaluate my life and really reflect on what I think is important to me and important for how I best live my life.

Here is a summary of the tips I’ve learnt from this book and it has been especially during these unprecedented times. I hope this post has been helpful in some way.

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Life, Opinion, Personal, Self Improvement

About clarissa

Clarissa is a 23 year old Sydneysider (sɪdnisʌɪdə) who graduated in finance, economics and marketing but is passionate about blogging and self expression.

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About Me

Hi! I'm Clarissa

I am a 24 year old Australian-based online content creator who is trying her best to adult (sort of). Some topics I write include beauty, travel, and life. For enquiries, please contact me at clarissazhu97@gmail.com - Happy reading!

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Clarissa's bookshelf: currently-reading

The Utopia of Rules: On Technology, Stupidity, and the Secret Joys of Bureaucracy
The Utopia of Rules: On Technology, Stupidity, and the Secret Joys of Bureaucracy
by David Graeber
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Thinking, Fast and Slow
by Daniel Kahneman
How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life
How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life
by Heather Havrilesky
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos
by Jordan B. Peterson

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